I imagine that, throughout the years, many people have perused this blog and arrived at the conclusion that, although my writings are not wholly without merit, they fall well short of greatness because they miss the spark of genius and they lack the special interest of the public’s favourite topics. That with the spark can’t be helped, but today there’s finally a human parrot on display.1
Globi started his illustrious career as a mascot to a Swiss department store in the thirties. Since then, he has grown into something of a national symbol, appearing in numerous children’s books, a movie, all sorts of merchandise, and even on a wagon of the Luzern-Engelberg express.
There’s a reason for that: he plays chess! Yes, in this, the fifty-seventh volume, Globi is playing chess against an extraterrestrial shapeshifting slug.2 Possibly because that’s the only one he could convince to play on a nine-by-eight board. There’s not enough detail in the image to have much confidence in any reconstruction, but here’s one anyway:3
It’s possible I have identified pieces wrongly. It’s possible there are some pieces missing. It’s even possible there is no well-defined position to reconstruct. In any case, the slug, who is playing black, is holding another piece, probably a black queen. According to the text which accompanies the picture, Globi ends up getting mated, but whether that happens in this position is unclear.
They watch a sci-fi movie afterwards, and then go to bed. They’ll need their sleep, for soon enough it’ll be time for a Morgenteuer.
Realism: 0/5 In the privacy of his own home, the beloved children’s icon Globi turns out to be a perverted, twisted sicko who plays on a nine-by-eight board. Very sad.
Probable winner: We’re informed it’s black, and that seems reasonable if we take into account the extra queen. And that Gobi is probably trying to appease the alien to stave off a possible invasion.
1. [Flip, from six posts back comes kind of close.] ↩
2. [Nevertheless, it’s propped up on a bunch of books to reach the table. Why doesn’t it jut shapeshift to be a bit taller?] ↩
3. [If aliens ever do come to Earth, it’ll be for this diagram editor.] ↩