You’d think if I ever can’t think of something to write about on this blog, I could always go to the long, long list of film adaptations of Carroll’s masterful Through the looking-glass, and what Alice found there. But disappointingly there is often no usable scene. And sometimes, like in today’s version starring Kate Beckinsale, you have to seek it with thimbles and you have to seek it with care: the only chessboard is in view quite briefly on a mimsy screen in a child’s room during the opening credits.
There’s a slithy creature circling above the board. I think it’s supposed to be the Jabberwock, but then where are the claws that catch? Moreover, the knights have preposterously wide bottoms1 and the position on the board is not Carroll’s original problem, all of which makes me rather frumious.
On the other hand, the view of the board clear enough to make one churtle with joy. So get ready for some snark!2
Apparently, the walrus and the carpenter have mistaken white pieces for oysters and have eaten their fill.3 The black knight is very clumsy, but at least there is a black knight. And, soon, a queen will join it and the two rooks. So thinks are looking bleak for the white king, which is probably why it’s trying desperately to scamper off the chessboard.
Perhaps you are disappointed about the lack of vitriol, but the snark was a boojum, you see.
Realism: 3/5 It seems like a vorpal blade has wreaked havoc on the white pieces. I would even say that white should, by all rights, have resigned ages ago but, putting that aside, the position doesn’t seem too outlandish. Oh frabjous day!
Probable winner: One doesn’t need to stand in uffish thought for very long to realise that white is toast, possibly buttered. So black.
1. [I guess Sir Mix-a-Lot would like them.] ↩
2. [Come to my arms, my beamish diagram editor!] ↩
3. [Or perhaps the white king has sent them all to put Humpty Dumpty together again.] ↩