Imagine you get dropped in a remote place, called Raccoon city of all things, to investigate some bizarre murders but then half of your team crashes with their helicopter and you get stranded in an abandoned mansion beset by zombies and rabid dogs.1 Your mission is to survive, find out what the fuck is happening, and keep as many people as possible alive. But you will very soon find yourself sidetracked, for in one of the rooms, guarded by a couple of zombies, is a chessboard.
Who was playing here is never made entirely clear. There’s neither a clock nor a score sheet to be seen, so it was probably a casual game. Or perhaps someone was using the board for study or analysis.
The reconstruction of the position was not so hard. There is a piece, I think a bishop, surreptitiously trying to get away from the board, but it surely belongs on c1. That would yield the following position:2
I’m not sure whose move it is. If it were black’s move then Nxh5 would be a big problem for white. Then again, if it were white’s move, then axb6 followed by Rxc5 would be a big problem for black. In any case, someone has a bigger problem than some zombies shambling around.
Although it is quite possible that the zombies are just a plague sent by God to punish whoever was playing. What the hell happened here? What made the white king shuffle over to d1? Why did he go f3? Why are his rooks so developed while his minor pieces aren’t? Does he not know how the knights move? And black didn’t fare much better. Why is his king’s side so deformed?3 My theory: the zombies did it.
Realism: 2/5 None of the pieces are terribly out of place, but the whole picture makes no sense. There is no earthly reason why the pieces should have remained undeveloped for so long.
Probable winner: Whoever’s move it is. Although, given their previous play, I trust neither side to show particularly impressive technique. So perhaps things will change.
1. [You don’t actually have to imagine that if you don’t want to; it’s just a suggestion for the sake of storytelling.] ↩
2. [Resident diagram editor.] ↩
3. [It’s probably a Habsburger.] ↩